


Alphonse Helps Wilson

by drewbrees991



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga, Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald
Genre: Alphonse and Mei are married, Alphonse and Mei live in Jersey City, Alphonse has a day-job but is a plumber on the side, Alphonse's voice is the same as it was at the end of FMAB, Canon Compliant (The Great Gatsby), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, FMAB and Great Gatsby exist in the same universe, Light Smut, M/M, Mei is a successful singer, Post-Canon (Fullmetal Alchemist), The US hasn't discovered alchemy, Very Slightly Canon Divergent (see end notes)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-29 17:01:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17811926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drewbrees991/pseuds/drewbrees991
Summary: MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE GREAT GATSBY AND FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.Alphonse Elric runs into George Wilson during a trip to New York City and helps him go somewhere.Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood and The Great Gatsby exist in the same universe, but the US doesn't know about Amestris/Xing/anything related to alchemy/FMA and hasn't yet discovered alchemy. Canon-compliant for The Great Gatsby, post-canon for FMAB.





	Alphonse Helps Wilson

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, all! This is my first fanfiction on AO3. I had the urge to post something before I get to work on my larger story, so here is "Alphonse Helps Wilson".
> 
> Criticism is welcomed! I'd always like to hear your advice to help me become a better writer. 
> 
> Thanks for taking the time to read this!
> 
> -DB

 

The cement path on which Alphonse ambled across set itself in the middle of a dusty wasteland composed of ugly brick apartment buildings, laundromats, and a vacant car repair place sandwiched between two brightly lit, lavish districts, one of them Manhattan and the other a collection of white mansions constrained in a suggestive circular outline. Above where he stood laid a bridge, and near the bridge stood a large billboard with two beautiful green eyes; "T.J. Eckleburg, Oculist", it read. The green eyes teased Alphonse: they were supposed to be comforting, but every time he looked at them, they filled him with images of, among other things, his brother losing his legs, Nina, the snake girl dying inside of him, Fu, the Homuncul-

 

He kicked a tumbleweed away, and fished 50 hundred dollar bills out of his pants pocket. Now he thought of Mei, her singing career, his new apartment in Jersey City, and most importantly-

 

"Good to see you, old sport!"

 

"Hi, Mr. Gatsby!"

 

This "Gatsby" immediately brought light to every room of his mansion when he talked. Alphonse remembered he talked this way over the phone, throwing around "old sport" like he heard Major Armstrong repeat that things were " **PASSED DOWN THROUGH THE ARMSTRONG FAMILY FOR GENERATIONS!** ".

 

Of course, at the time of the phone call, Gatsby calling Alphonse "ma'am" throughout the whole transaction and applauding "her" for "doing a man's work" overshadowed Gatsby's other traits.

 

"Aww, how cute!" Mei squealed.

 

She couldn't hear Alphonse's stuttering, as he buried his face too far into the couch cushions.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

"My plumbing's all screwed up. I try to flush the toilet, and I flood the whole stinkin' house."

 

"I'll take care of it, sir!"

 

"Please, call me Jay."

 

Jay directed Alphonse to the problem toilet, which already had water leaking from the lid on top. He said he would be in the music room should Alphonse need anything, but he took his sweet time getting there.

 

"You been here before, old sport?"

 

Alphonse was thankful that Jay didn't go on and on that he was "expecting a girl".

 

"Only Brooklyn and Manhattan, sir. I moved to Jersey City a month ago."

 

"Call me Jay."

 

Jay cleared his throat.

 

"Have you heard of my parties before? They're quite the main event here in West Egg."

 

"No, Jay. I'm sorry."

 

"Don't apologize, old sport! Not that many people from outside here come. But there's music and drinks and anything you could ever hope to experience in a single night! A night at my house will be better than anything you could ever experience in Jersey City, old sport. Although, I've always wished for my new neighbor to come. He just moved in a few days ago, but all the chap does is go to work and go straight back home. I watch him from my window. He's so fucking hot: I want him at my house, because my God, I want to tap that ass-"

 

"Mr. Jay-"

 

"-Maybe you could persuade him. And there's also the love of my life, Daisy. I do everything for her, old sport. and she never seems satisfied. I don't get it. I throw the best parties in New York area and she's still married to that racist little shit from Illinois. I survived the war because of her, so tell her to stop fucking around and marry me, goddammit!"

 

The room grew silent, and after a minute, Jay swallowed and turned back into his cheerful self. Whatever happened earlier disappeared from the men's memories. "Anyway, I'll be waiting in the other room until you're done. You know what? I'll even put on music for you. Hold a second. What do the kids like these days? 

 

"Mr. Jay, please!"

 

 

"Alright, alright. I'll leave you alone. Do a good job, old sport!"

 

 

Alphonse said "Thank you!" in return.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

To say Alphonse's plumbing adventure was difficult would be the understatement of the century. Alphonse opened the lid on Jay's problematic toilet and started taking apart the pipes. For the next two hours, he cleaned the ungodly mess that was whatever combination of fecal matter, drugs, and the occasional piece of jewelry resided within that white monster. Not only that, but some of the pipes were bent at extreme angles, and most of them were one flush away from cracking and filling the entire mansion with water. He saw that the toilet's pipes led upstairs to a boiler room of sorts, and heading there and opening up the main pipe, he was not surprised to find what looked like two pounds of cocaine preventing a river of urine from heading toward the sewers. Already noticing the beginning of vomit forming inside his mouth, Alphonse wanted to slam his hands on the floor to destroy the mess in the pipes without having to submerge his hands into mountains of poop, but alchemy was too risky. Jay had this creepy air to him, and Alphonse was sure the fellow would be peeking in on him while he was working, or be walking by one of the bathrooms at the wrong time and see the flash of light. This country seemed to not have discovered alchemy yet, Alphonse thought, and he wasn't going to introduce a new set of problems to somewhere he'd only been for a month. So, Alphonse snapped on large, yellow gloves, took a deep breath and got to work.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jay returned from his kitchen with a stack of 50 one-hundred dollar bills and laid them in Alphonse' hands.

 

"Mr. Jay, thank you, but this is too much-"

 

"You deserve it, old sport! You worked hard today, and God knows what was in those pipes. Take the money. Buy your wife a brand new ring. You deserve it."

 

Wanting to avoid an all-night argument, Alphonse stuffed the money in his pocket and headed toward his car.

 

"Wait!"

 

He turned around to see a smiling Jay folding his hands together.

 

"Would you like to stay for dinner, old sport? I made sandwiches."

 

"Sure! Thank you, Mr. Jay!"

 

"Don't question it, old sport!"

 

And that is how, the next day, Alphonse Elric found himself lying half asleep in the cold lower level of the Pennsylvania Station, staring at the morning _Tribune_ , and waiting for the four o' clock train.

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Alphonse suddenly remembered to check his watch. The time was half-past two, about an hour before the guy at Wilson's Garage was supposed to be done fixing his car. Seeing no other option to pass the time, Alphonse circulated across the cement path enclosing the area between Queens and West Egg, admiring the beauty of his surrounding. For some reason, he felt sad when looking around, especially when he saw what the guy at the garage, the young Greek, dubbed "the valley of ashes" , but he thought nothing of it. He kept walking, staring at the arrangement of oak trees to his right, when he felt a cold, bony hand grasp his shoulder.

 

"Where is Gatsby's house?"

 

The hand belonged to another guy; not the Greek, but the old, tired guy who owned the shop where Alphonse's car was currently staying. He almost always lurked in the corner of the garage, watching the Greek guy talk to Alphonse and work on his car. He muttered to himself about his "beautiful wife, Myrtle" and once, blocked Alphonse from going inside the men's bathroom, talking with a smile on his face about how "my wife and I are going to move and we're going to have this big house and have kids and be happy. You should meet my wife." Alphonse felt his stomach sink, but faced Wilson with a smile.

"Why do you want to go to his house?"

 

"I have to talk to him about his car. I need to keep it in the shop another day."

 

"Um- oh! I have directions in my pocket. Let me get them for you."

 

He took out a piece of paper from his pants pocket and handed it to Wilson. These were the same pants he wore on his visit to Jay's house; he had neglected to remove the paper containing the directions the man had given him over the phone. Wilson gave him a creaky smile, and walked off the cement path into the grass, heading toward West Egg. Before he was out of earshot, Alphonse asked about his car.

 

"Don't worry about it, " Wilson said.

 

After the mechanic disappeared into the distance, Alphonse continued his journey across the cement. He felt giddy about helping someone yet again, even as the eyes of T.J. Eckleburg bore into his back.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

There was a faint, barely perceptible movement of the water as the fresh flow from one end urged its way toward the drain at the other. With little ripples that were hardly the shadows of waves, the laden mattress moved irregularly window the pool. A small gust of wind that scarcely corrugated the surface was enough to disturb its accidental course with its accidental bur‐ den. The touch of a cluster of leaves it slowly, tracing, like the leg of transit, a thin red circle in the water.

It was after we started with Gatsby toward the house that the gardener saw Wilson's body a little way off in the grass, and the holocaust was complete. 

**Author's Note:**

> Well, that was a fun story, right?
> 
> Please leave your feedback in the comments section, please.
> 
> Fun Fact: It was when I was about halfway done with the story when I pulled out my copy of The Great Gatsby and saw that there actually WAS someone who told Wilson the way to Gatsby's house. I have now decided that said person was Alphonse Elric, and yes, that is canon. 
> 
> I debated to myself about which FMA character would help Wilson get to Gatsby's house before eventually settling on Alphonse, as I thought he was the sweetest out of all the characters I thought of putting in the story (the other choices were Ed or Roy) and to me, he seemed the most likely to be horrified when he learned about what he had done.
> 
> UPDATE: After rereading the passage, I realized that the person was probably Tom Buchanan, as the passage implies that Wilson learned Gatsby's name and where Gatsby lived from the same person (before he ran into Tom, Wilson was only asking about who owned the "yellow car". Also, Wilson was already in West Egg when he learned this information. Knowing all of this now, this story is slightly canon-divergent; Wilson learns from Tom in the valley of ashes that Gatsby owned the yellow car, and then received directions on how to get to Gatsby's house from Alphonse on the cement path (which doesn't exist in the book) enclosing West Egg.
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading! 
> 
> -DB


End file.
